FIVE FOR FRIDAY 01 07 22

Business Brief

5 ‘outrageous’ 2022 predictions spell doom for Facebook, Spotify

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Happy New Year! Instead of resolutions, why don’t we make some 2022 predictions? Here are some of the most ‘outrageous‘ calls for what’s in store this year by the Danish firm Saxo Bank.

#5: NFTs sink Spotify

Saxo Bank foresees an NFT-based music service backed by some big artists sinking Spotify’s stock by 33% this year. With more musicians using the blockchain to sell songs, third-party streamers like Spotify will lose their outsized piece of the pie. It’s already begun: Katy Perry, Nas and the Chainsmokers recently contributed to a $5 million fundraising round for a blockchain-based music platform called Audius.

#4: Women’s Reddit army

A women’s Reddit army will take down the patriarchy. According to the bank, a pack of female traders will mimic the meme stock movement, short squeezing stocks of companies with bad social scores while investing in firms that have women at the highest levels. Politicians around the world will offer support and usher in the next feminist wave.

#3: Facebook faceplants with youth

Saxo says Meta, aka Facebook, will lose the young generation it’s trying to hard to recapture. This year, Mark Zuckerberg makes a few more power moves that only cement the company’s reputation as greedy and irrelevant. He tries to buy Snapchat or TikTok but fails and the cooler, more privacy-minded firms prevail.

#2: Inflation at 15%

Yikes. Saxo Bank predicts that double-digit wage increases will send inflation soaring to numbers not seen since World War II. Workers will not only flee the force in greater and greater numbers, the ones left will demand better job conditions, more flexibility and a sense of purpose. Jerome Powell and the Fed will be forced to tighten monetary policy even faster than planned and will lose credibility.

#1: Hypersonic cold war

The most outrageous prediction for 2022 is an emerging, scary hypersonic cold war. Saxo sees this year as a game-changing moment in the long-standing military status quo between the U.S. and China. Heat-seeking hypersonic missiles are presenting an entirely new threat and Saxo Bank predicts there will be big funding to companies like Raytheon to build up the U.S. supply.

HEY, HAPPY NEW YEAR! INSTEAD OF RESOLUTIONS, WHY DON’T WE INSTEAD MAKE SOME 2022 PREDICTIONS! HERE ARE SOME OF THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS CALLS BY THE DANISH FIRM SAXO BANK. IT’S THIS WEEK’S FIVE FOR FRIDAY! 

COMING IN AT NUMBER FIVE, NFTs TANK SPOTIFY STOCK. SAXO FORESEES AN NFT-BASED MUSIC SERVICE BACKED BY SOME BIG ARTISTS SINKING SPOTIFY BY 33% THIS YEAR.  IT’S ALREADY HAPPENING: KATY PERRY, NAS, AND THE CHAINSMOKERS ARE BEHIND A NEW BLOCKCHAIN-BASED MUSIC PLATFORM CALLED AUDIUS.

TAKING THE FOUR SPOT, A WOMEN’S REDDIT ARMY WILL TAKE DOWN THE PATRIARCHY. ACCORDING TO THE BANK, A PACK OF FEMALE TRADERS WILL MIMIC THE MEME STOCK MOVEMENT, SHORT SQUEEZING STOCKS OF COMPANIES WITH BAD SOCIAL SCORES WHILE INVESTING IN FIRMS WHO HAVE WOMEN AT THE HIGH LEVELS.

AT NUMBER 3,  META, AKA FACEBOOK, LOSES THE YOUNG GENERATION THEY’RE TRYING SO HARD TO RECAPTURE. THIS YEAR ZUCK MAKES A FEW MORE POWER MOVES THAT ONLY CEMENT THE COMPANY’S REPUTATION AS GREEDY AND IRRELEVANT.  HE TRIES TO BUY SNAPCHAT OR TIKTOK BUT NONE OF IT WORKS AND THE COOLER, MORE PRIVACY-MINDED FIRMS PREVAIL. 

CLAIMING THE TWO SPOT, INFLATION RATE REACHES 15%. SAXO BANK PREDICTS THAT DOUBLE DIGIT WAGE INCREASES WILL SEND INFLATION SOARING TO NUMBERS NOT SEEN SINCE WORLD WAR TWO. JAY POWELL AND THE FED WILL BE FORCED TO TIGHTEN MONETARY POLICY EVEN FASTER THAN PLANNED AND WILL LOSE ANY CRED IT HAD LEFT.

AND THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS PREDICTION FOR 2022, A KIND OF SCARY HYPERSONIC COLD WAR EMERGES. SAXO SEES THIS YEAR AS A GAME-CHANGING MOMENT IN THE LONG-STANDING MILITARY STATUS QUO BETWEEN THE U.S. AND CHINA. HEAT-SEEKING HYPERSONIC MISSILES ARE PRESENTING AN ENTIRELY NEW THREAT AND SAXO SAYS THERE’LL BE BIG FUNDING TO COMPANIES LIKE RAYTHEON TO BUILD UP THE U-S SUPPLY. 

NOT EXACTLY AN UPBEAT WAY TO SEND YOU INTO THE WEEKEND, BUT HEY, I DIDN’T MAKE IT UP. I’M SIMONE DEL ROSARIO FROM NEW YORK FOR JUST BUSINESS. SEE YOU MONDAY. 

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Happy New Year! Instead of resolutions, why don’t we make some 2022 predictions? Here are some of the most ‘outrageous‘ calls for what’s in store this year by the Danish firm Saxo Bank.

#5: NFTs sink Spotify

Saxo Bank foresees an NFT-based music service backed by some big artists sinking Spotify’s stock by 33% this year. With more musicians using the blockchain to sell songs, third-party streamers like Spotify will lose their outsized piece of the pie. It’s already begun: Katy Perry, Nas and the Chainsmokers recently contributed to a $5 million fundraising round for a blockchain-based music platform called Audius.

#4: Women’s Reddit army

A women’s Reddit army will take down the patriarchy. According to the bank, a pack of female traders will mimic the meme stock movement, short squeezing stocks of companies with bad social scores while investing in firms that have women at the highest levels. Politicians around the world will offer support and usher in the next feminist wave.

#3: Facebook faceplants with youth

Saxo says Meta, aka Facebook, will lose the young generation it’s trying to hard to recapture. This year, Mark Zuckerberg makes a few more power moves that only cement the company’s reputation as greedy and irrelevant. He tries to buy Snapchat or TikTok but fails and the cooler, more privacy-minded firms prevail.

#2: Inflation at 15%

Yikes. Saxo Bank predicts that double-digit wage increases will send inflation soaring to numbers not seen since World War II. Workers will not only flee the force in greater and greater numbers, the ones left will demand better job conditions, more flexibility and a sense of purpose. Jerome Powell and the Fed will be forced to tighten monetary policy even faster than planned and will lose credibility.

#1: Hypersonic cold war

The most outrageous prediction for 2022 is an emerging, scary hypersonic cold war. Saxo sees this year as a game-changing moment in the long-standing military status quo between the U.S. and China. Heat-seeking hypersonic missiles are presenting an entirely new threat and Saxo Bank predicts there will be big funding to companies like Raytheon to build up the U.S. supply.

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